SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
