Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
accomplished twins. life is a go
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
