There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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