I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
