i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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