someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
