Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
