I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
