if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
