No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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