Non-Jews are for practice
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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