butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
