I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
this will be a night to untag.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
