She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
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everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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