now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
