winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i need some magic done to my vagina
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize