i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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