You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
