my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
we're so committed to being not committed
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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