Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
