Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
