I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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