There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
