he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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