dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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