Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
