I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
