the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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