life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
