it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
