I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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