Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just cut my nipple shaving
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
