Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
