omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
