the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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