Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
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She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
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I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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