Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He felt like a one man threesome
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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