It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You made out with two different species that night
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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