quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
