new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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