Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
