I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
