carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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