You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
