when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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