dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
tell me about the eggs
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
