matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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