You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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