He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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