my mouth tastes like poor choices
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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