so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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