someone get that fucking seahorse.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
MIDGETS
????
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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