Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
