You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
