Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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