you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
