hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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