Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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