Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
