i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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