In America we eat man semen.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize